better than yesterday

i woke up today and the clock shows that it was already 12 something in the afternoon..never felt so lonely like this waking up..

and i was thinking about wut happen yesterday, wut's been going on before i slept(because that's the first thing i do when i wake up)

and then ow yess i remembered..

i was upset that evening with how things goes and i pick my advice in the jar for that day and it tells me to overcome my difficulties by facing it and then i thought it was ridiculous and pick another one eventhough it's supposed to be one advice for a a day.and the second advice is saying "try to make urself happy by making other people happy and laugh with them"

i throw it back in because it was obviously ridiculous!!!

and then it came up to me that
i don't need advices..i don't need to listen to the jar because i know wut's best which is being angry at this person for treating me like somekind of crap!!

i don't need to giv a damn trying to make people laugh..because it's tiring and in the end of the day u just feel that it's a waste of time.u never feel happy making people happy..

tht is just fact..

u never did..

making people happy and at the same tyme put urself away for them makes u feel unbearably useless and of course being used..

i thought it have always been that way..i just didin't realise that..

i guess i've grown to just become aware of how this world can be..and it's harsh..

that's just fact, not some advice that u pick from a jar..

so i cleaned myself up and make my way to the faculty..

and stay all day in the air-conditioned classroom with syaza psycho..

and i never feel so calm in my lyfe.. like totally calm away from the harsh world out there..in the classroom reading about the gene organisation, having a hot cup of coffee with the chicken bread i bought..


and syaza was asking some crazy questions about my g-spot..(yeah she's a maniac)

and i went like i dunno, i never had sex..then she got all excited and then she says figure that out!!

and i was curious, and she said that she just can't stop reading it the night before..

and then it rained..
it was nice..

today was nice..atleast better than yesterday..it wasn't the best,it was just a nice day..
and i wish it'll be better the next day..because i want to have better in me and in life.