she open the car door, making her way out..turn around to smile at me..

i guess that's it..that's just it..we hit some rough roads,had fun along the way and now things will just get back to the same place..

why can't i just have something real and that stays..

it's like things are just constantly leaving me behind..

when tomorrow comes, we all will get back to our life, according to the social clique.

people are just preoccupied with hierarki..

and i kept wondering what is wrong with my life?

why am i always in the wrong place at the wrong time..

so there it is..

some few weeks of fun and excitement then it had come to the end..

and i just have to move on again like i always do..

just like what always happen before.

research

i went in her office sitting on the chair in front of her and then that's when she went

she: okay u listen to me now, i want u to work on ur work give me an update.no question, don't interrupt me, find out what needs to be out. i'm giving u the marks that u don't need to be worried about. but starting from this new semestar, just don't slack off. because ur marks depend on ur work..and don't come to me unless u have an update.

me : urmm..what about my second sample? when will we be getting that?

she : i'm not sure..but it'll be next semstar

i stare rite back at her..observing evry inch of her lips, articulating everything..imagining what happen if i just could cut her and tell her how i feel about doing sampling for the next year..i don't know if it's within my capabilities..i can't do it if it's next semestar..i'll be busy during that tyme..i need to get my thesis my gene sequencing done..

i'm so doom..cume boleh menyerah pade Allah je..she's just so powerful...and fragile.

she : what are u waiting for? go!!

awaken from my thoughts, i look at her again

she : what?? i can't talk much now..i'm sick, tired and i need a break..go!

and then i stand up making my way to the door..

what am i going to do with my life..god.

i walked staright to side of the cafetaria opened the fridge and grabbed the yellow puding that sat at the corner of the shelve.

i brought it in the lab..finding some things for tommorow medium making..

my bacteria is like in desperate needs of a new medium..they're like waiting to be place outside the fridge..it's been so long i put them there.

cleaning some universal bottles, scrubbing 4 conical flask, borrow some beaker.

and then it occured to me that there is no plates..no plates for tomorrow medium making..which means there will be no place for me to pour the agar.
what a drag.

and i also need to replace the scott bottle i borrowed from the marine lab..

so i wnt in side his office..

and then there he was sitting there..

him : ye?

me : saye nak jumpe encik

him : ade ape?

me : saye nak scott bottle 2 and barang nak buat medium saye da bagi list kat kak wawa

him : saye tak dapat pon list tuh

me: saye da bagi

him : saye kene tgk dulu la list tuh, before order..patotnye bagi awal2, kang lambat bru smpai barang tuh..

me : brape lame ? 2 minggu?

him : mane 2 minggu, brg2 tuh 3 bulan kang bru smpai. da abes research kot bru dapat barang

me : (wut??) haa? alaah

him: ko ingat barang ni bli kat gombak,subang ke, ni kene order kat oversea tau tak

okay that was hilarious, i almost snort out when he said that..


so off he went making his way. trying to get me all the things without buying any of them..

which is unexpected.

and then finally..after much cleaning and packaging,

i sat down on this chair that the master's student usually sit where i don't really get to, when they're around..

i kindda wonder what it felt like sitting in the chair..

so i sat there..took out my pudding and ate it.there silently every bite, in the lab where there is no one but me and athirah..

staring at the corner of every table that is filled with all the postgraduate work which is so space consuming and and also takes all the instrument that the undergraduate needs..

that's them...they make their way well in the lab..because they just manage to actually have them all..the space, the bench with all their stuff, and all the bottles and tubes that we also need..

it's just not enough for all of us..

but i guess that is something i need to swallow just like my pudding, although it taste way better..

i need to cope with this..tell them we need our tubes and bottles.or find them get them from scratch.

this is part of the challenge..it's not that hard..it's okay.

i swallowed another pice, it like so delicate in my mouth asking me for more.

and then there's this smel of the bacteria in the lab, with the combination of the dessert..i'm tired for today.. i need to just read something and lie down..