i've been viewing stuff in youtube..some stuff..

so the other day when the video that was place on youtube made by me, were out..

i happen to view it a lot of tymes..

and then there's this thing that i feel, deep inside..

i mean i seriously know that my video wasn't a very good one, it's just fine or even average.

i just felt that it looks like a 5 minute work that you jumble out all together edit a bit and then voila it's in the tube..

i didin't realise i was doing that a lot of times..

there's been a lot of time in my life that i do things quickly and not carefully..

and the result goes so and so..

i felt embarass a bit because a smart person will figure the kind of effort it took for that video.

it's just that during the editing i didin't realise i was doing it again.
i want it to finished so quickly so i'll get over that..

i thought i'm enjoying it, but i just want to get over it quick..

and i don't want to be do that again..to produce or make something lacking of effort..

god i'm so twisted..

i guess that's why a lot of times in my life, i happen to fail to get the result i want..

because i never cared what it will be like in the end, or what i will gain along the journey, i just wanted it to end..

but i do feel tired making it happen.because i'm not enjoying it i guess..

and that should stop right there.i should make that stop.


moving on.. i've finished this book today..it's the one i borrowed from diana..




anyway..i don't think it's something i would want to read in future..

romance-don't expect much in it
friendship-twisted and very complicated because bel thinks that ashley is mean and hate her but ashley just want bel to care(wutever dat sort of stuff)
and she put it in very odd way to go through a story like that.

like sometimes you don't know what's this event got to do with anything.

it's boring in a way that she put a lot of events unrelated to the plot..

misleading.that's the word..it's not even much about a reunion after 15 years.

more about a worried mother and life of four friends after they graduate..

wutever.it's a yawn..

sorry to say that so bluntly..but it is....

i guess i gottago and read through the function of nilai estetika and garisan
in paintings but they call it catan in malay, because i got quiz and i need to get 4 this short sem..

till then..wutever