save me, not you

aku bru abes due paper mid sem exam termasok today..

bnyak lagi bisnes yg kene fixed..
and i'm running out of tyme..

dgn dinner punye meje lagi tak settle..anyway i'm not going to talk about that today..

because dinner kkm suckks!!

and evryone yg attend that kind of thing is sick!

sometimes i just find myself pacing in and out..
just taking my own tyme..

anyway aku mkan nasi lemak letak ayam ngn nasi tomato tadi..

rase mcm bru dapat kuase quincy balek mcm dlm bleach tuh..
lapo gile dow tak mkn satu ari..

da gile ke beb!

anyway everyone's seems asleep..

and aku just tenga figure out nk crash kat mane this weekend

becoz ahad takde current..

mcm bodoh pon ade..

it's not like i have a house near here..

i was just walking down the street and then i realise how nice and quiet this night is..

not scary at all..

like totally away from evryone..

i sometimes wish that i can be invisble for a moment..

so that people can't see me or talk to me..

or you don't have to meet their eyes and tell them all the things that
they need to listen.

tell her everythying that only makes her feel better..

but not the truth..

because lying everyday, kills me so much..

and it's not enjoyable anymore..

especially when u did that right infront of her face..

it's sickening.and the biggest liar award goes to me once again..

because the truth is i never feel alright with you..

you're everywhere and sometimes when u're not everywhre

u're absent all the tyme..

and i hate that both..
u being absent and u're being everywhere,

maybe i just hate the idea of having you around..

i wish i could just say it..

just tell u that u're the safest person i ever met..

u're safe..

with every single thing that evolve around you..

u never know how this world can be because u live in that empty
room of yours..

u never try come out..

u don't know wut it's like..

u blame people for wut happen because that's the safest way to live things..

u shut urself in ur nest and wake up trying to think that the world can do u no harm..

because that's the safest thing to think about..

and thinking that i always enjoy having around makes u safe but the truth is, it's not like that at all..

u just used people without even realising that..and yet u're still safe..

and sometimes i do that too..use u..just to find a way out when i'm in a mess..

so stop..

using me and being used by me..

because u don't how unbelievably unpleasent it is..having u as a friend..

because i don't feel save being around you..