i hate

it's been three days and we haven't seen any of our lecturer
that supposed to be in class..

wutever..i hope they know wut they're doing because this is our future
ok and when it comes to my future you have to be serious about that..i mean what's going to happen to all that kete takde atap and penthouse dgn org gaji yg took care all of it..tht my future we're talking about..

if everyone in the world know their job perhaps the world will be
a better place..

i have just finish another chic lit..it's another one from sophie kinsella..
can you keep a secret.

ntah aku pon tak tau..sejak akhir2 nih aku read too much sentimental and watch those kinds of movies..god why can't my roomate shut up!!!

it's not like i'm in the conversation too..fuck..i'm irritated..
i've been watching meteor garden again..i knoe..tapi da three days takde mende nk buat..

okay 'can you keep a secret' was just okay i guess..ntah aku takde laa rase bes sgt kowt..maybe becoz starting from the beginning aku da imagine Jack Harper is an old guy..yeah seriously.and there's nothing interesting in making out with an old guy..

so tadi plak tgk honey and clover..the songs reminds me of some old time..slalunye tgk honey and clover bile bru lepas minom soyabean ngn cincau yg bli kat pasar malam..sebab dudlu honey and clover kat animax every wednesday..

it was nice back then..but still suck sometimes sebab kat skola slalu kene attack ngn ustazah yg sound aku sebab bawak walkman..taulah ko xde, jelesla tuh..

tadi klas titas pon lecturer tak masok..ntah ar..masok2 je satu klas pandang aku macam ape..pada hal bukan aku buat ape2 pon..i just don't get it man, wut's wrong with people and staring..don't u know it's rude to stare..u don't have to go to school to learn that..that's a total common sense..
dah la tu klas titas, tamadun islam okeh..tak yah la buat perangai mcm kaper plak..
ade aku kaco ko berak ke yg ko nk pandang org semacam..ade aku tgk bontot kurap ko..
xde kan?

hah dah tuh bek off laa..halamak.bitch
so wutever man..

dah laa komputer aku ni macam corrupt when it comes to connecting to the internet..
yeah tough luck..

sometimes there's stuff yg buat aku feel like i'm so small and uncomfortable..

ntah llike the times when i can not predict what happens next..and when i don't know what's going on..

i hate it when it happens..that just totally kills me so much..

i hate it when i have to be nice becos i'm not..i hate being nice..i hate it when people ask stuff that's already obvious..i hate it when i can read between the lines and evryone else can't.
i hate feeling bad all the time when i fail.. i hate it when people are so insensitive and unflexible..i hate it when you can't make up for the corruption or shall i say the haywireness of ur system when evrything is in a mess and the schedule is overlapping to each other and that's like a big annoyance and prove how incompetent the whole university are..

i hate it when people just believe in what they want to all the time because sometimes it's obviously wrong, i mean their beliefs..
i hate it when people don't try at all..

i just hate the whole idea of this university..

another semestar another hell

dudlu mase dekat matrik, mase naik semester bru,
aku slalu bayangkan yg sem bru mcm new season dlm tv series.

lepastuh musti ade one of us yg da tukar rambut bru mcm farah and diana an then
musti ade yg bli gadget bru sebijik mcm new season dlm drama versi lebey matang..

pastuh tini slalu panggil aku 'sabrina season2' sebab konon2 semester bru nih mcm season 2.
mase kat maktab aku lagi excited nk balek asrama dpd balek umah
..
tapi now it's totally different..
i don't feel like coming back here at all..

now its another semestar to take..

god i have always hate this palce..

fine..this is jus another face to carry on..
i'll get over this and survive..

the start of the second semestar during our time was so much intriguing
than this..

we're like characters that grown so much in a series and even in real life..

and now i'm trying mybest to go through this phase in my life..

this is a phase sabrina..

i miss maktab..i miss matrik..

i miss my young teenage years when i was so stupid that i don't have to
think about anything that will scare me away because i have people around me..people who will always have my back..

wutever i'm reading another chick lit 'can you keep a secret'..

i'll finished it soon and get begin this semstar like everyone else in Malaysia..

i mean this is Malaysia and things will never change here..

yeah wutever

'i am me' phase

i've just finish another chick lit.
confession of a shopaholics..
it's get boring these days..so aku bace gakk buku yg da lame aku x bukak tuh..
mase bkn holiday arituh nk bukak buku tuh pon perit..
becoz u know me and books=never work out..
tapi ok la jugak..

wut i really think is to read this book, it was okay,,xde laa bes sgt tapi ok..
mak aku pon macam pelik kowt watching me reading the whole journey back home tapi
i just got into it and can't stop..

i can say yg reading not so bad afterall if i have the time and space and the rite book..i need it actually..i dunno, maybe because it makes u have different views about things and for people like me yg mmg isit pikr je, it makes me think a lot more..

i'm actually in a phase in my life yg trying to learn more about me and try to accept a lot of harsh facts about myself..i know it's rather late for that but atleast i began to realise i shud work things out a little since i have been hibernating quite sometime for some space..so this is it..still coping..and this is not over yet, i mean the phase..

so about the book..it was a british books of course.only in the movie it makes it look like it's an american story..well not at all..
they even used british words that i used to remember using back then..
like:

"i don't fancy you"
and some other.i just read a book..i guess i'll start reading other book..i'll try..
maybe 3 book for the next month..this is just an aim..ok.no pressure..

and rite now totally listening to sunday morning by maroon 5..
i like the song actually.. alot..
and tadi aku tgk 'wanted' for the first time and started to make sounds like
'adoi'
'saket tuh'
'halamak kene tembak!'

and then my mom came out with that look like she sees mating lions..
wutever i'm not mating and i'm not lions..

got a message from not-so-spiritful diana this morning..
n then aku pon bagi laa tips mcm biase..tips berkesan you all(gaye azwan ali-so gay)

2 more weeks and i'm done

i've been talking to some old classmates..it's really good to hear something from those people..it's been years since i last saw them.

rite now i have this craving for something sweet yet savory..like cheese..i need to eat something with cheese.i've been craving for that..i have two kids tomorrow..
so i have to wake up early..

and there is hakim teliing me:

hakim:tadi abg da doa(call himself abg)

me: ko doa ape ha bangang?

hakim: abg doa supaye hazim tak berak sepah2 lagi.

me: hmmm..bagos laa tapi jgn betau org doa ko tuh nnti x makbul..

and then there's hazim:

hazim: kekadang hazim rase mcm hazim ni anak angkat laa

me:mane ko tau?

hazim: yelah sebab hazim putih tpi korng sume itam..

me: a'ah mmg ko anak angkat, kitorng amek ko kat dlm incubator keling yg bru lahirkan anak die tuh..jadi ko tuh anak keling paham?!
anak keling mmg rase dri die putih..

and then i've just watch awan dania yg bodo tuh..tapi aku tgk je jugak..dgn si hakim yg tak habes2 komplen ckp die x paham asal org dlm cite tuh ketawe bknnye klako pon..

die mmg ade problemm dgn people punye joke sbb die slalu xpaham ape yg klako..and he's a clean freak..that's why he pray for, cleanliness..

wutever,

i'm beginnig to worry about my final semestar results..

so to avoid that..i've been sleeping the whole day and sing we belong together the whole day..yeah thats lame.

got to get to sleep..

the list of song that i really want to sing out loud rite now:

1. we belong together taylor swift
2. fearless
3. one last breath creed
4. some backstreet boys cheesy stuff..

yeah that will be great..

pour it out

Okay aku betol2 have an enough sleep..aku tido 8 jam sharp..which end me up by waking at 3 petang..ntah pastuh mlm tak boley tido pulak..
Rase mcm nk talk to people plak..

Tetibe rase idop aku senyap..shit !

Maryam pon on9 mcm tak on9 je..da lah tulis status mcm tnye mane sume org tapi bile org ym x reply plak.huh geram..aku bako kang umah ko bru tau.

Aku tgk a bunch of movies and drama on9 and of course some stupid Malay drama yg ade kat astro ria..its for the bashing and comedy to laugh to most of the time..
I mean beside the purpose of me myself yg bash it and take it as some piece of crap, who the hell would wanna watch those show..kamon lah people..aku berani bet laa takde org tgk KAU dan AKu yg dibintangi oleh budak2 AF aka mila gedik bajet comel,ckap mcm ckp dlm kelambuskrip totally doesn’t make sensejln cerite bodoh and full of comedy dgn si aril yg rambot tibe2 bjet edgy tenaik2 nmpak sgt 3 botol punye hair gel and then akim yg isit berpeluh and thenraja farah yg jadi jahat nk mock people all around da lah nk panggil org ‘super freak’ pronounce ‘super frek’ last2 kene mock dgn me and my sister.yeah hilarious..i could go on you know..

The point is aku TAK TAHU wut is even the purpose of the drama.maybe die rase da nk dekat fail tapi continue just to end it safely..siape yg take that kind of thing seriously..kamon sape?!
Okeh jgn nk bullshit bole tak, bile buat cite, dah laa bende tuh membazir duet..bayangkan bape bnyak org2 kat Malaysia ni yg masih kelaparan and dlm kemiskinan..and then some moron can just spend money away I mean a lot of money untok satu projek bodoh yg tak cukup homework mcm drama series kau dan aku tu..
Yeah wutever geli aku tgk muke mila on screen evrytime die nk bajet innocent budak kampong yg dtg kat kl nk blajo muzik..and again budak kampong innocent mane yg kale rambot? Huh lagi satu bende bodo yg illogical.
Wutever.wtf

Okay and then there’s kamelia Katrina yg dibintangi oleh seorng pompuan yg sgt kaku.dah lah watak die kaku,acting pon kaku, hah mmg kaku la ko!! Dialog tak abes ‘saye taknak keruhkan keadaan’..
Aku pon tak paham mcm mane story tugh develop sebab tak abes2 bende same je..ari2kene buli ngn kakak n then esok same..ntah cite bodo jenis ape tuh!!
Mmg laa bende tuh untok komedi aku je tapi sometimes bile mmg btol2 terlalu bodo buat aku sick lagi ade..yeah I feel sick..
I’m sick with astro!
Yeah..we don’t spend a hundred bucks a month for some piece of shit!!
Yeah u heard me..totally full of shit!!
Hahh aku benci ko!!!
Emo plak pagi2 bute nih.

okay.
aku baru je abes tgk cite korea yg memule mcm best pastu rupe2nye as the story develop tak best sgt and boring.

fine let's proceed..
okeh cite 'who are you' tu boring and da stat lembap bile the story starts to develop tapi aku tgk je sebab aku perlukan cerite cinte yg sedey and abadi for the moment walapon takde laa abadi sgt..

so korng tak payahlah tgk cite mcm tuh..in the meantime, aku tenga upload lagi 2 cite cinte abadi, romantik yg bole menitiskan airmate(mungkin laa).
hope this works..
entah i guess i just needed something that can get my mind of stuff and pade mase yg same mengisi mase lapang yg perlukan sebuah kisah cinte abadi..hmm..bukan cinte abadi ye, kisah cinte..now i sounded like diana..

wutever anyway.

aku tenga pikir2 brape bnyak lagi bende dlm list yg aku nk buat tapi belom dapat buat lagi..i mean in this age, aku thought of doing tapi still belom get a chance too..
okay that will be a secret..

it's disember and next year i'll be twenty soon..

cmne ek nk buat..
20 mcm da grown up and tak remaja sgt.
n then aku da tak young and gorgeous lagi..
takpe i will not age.
you guys gonna see me still hot in another 10 years from now..

hahah.

it's really weird these days that i hardly come out of my room..
i dunno why.
i just feel like locking myself uup and mengadap the laptop the whole day.
each day.pastuh kurang bersosial dgn kluarge.
tv pon da jarang watch..
slalunye i'm a tv addicts.
i guess somehow i just need to be by myself.
bende tuh mcm pelik gile becoz i never ever know what privacy or
feeling like being alone means..

it's sad.
bkn nk exaggerate ke ape tapi sometimes bile kuar bilek tgk your family,
then bru realise dah nk kat satu ari u haven't speak to them..
i don't wanna be a loner..
i guess i'm just used to it in ukm.
i don't want to stay that way but this makes me feel comfortable.

oh shit!!
i'm becoming a hot cave women.
wut's next perhaps i'll wear skin clothes too..
n then i'll eat unfrozen cooked meat.
and then i'll grow beard,
and then i dunno how to speak humans anymore..

i was just clearing up my inbox last night,maksud aku inbox phone aku becoz memory phone aku da totally unable to store message sejak due tige taun lepas.

n then aku come across some old message.some from my old classmates in maktab and then my gang and then some dpd matrik..

bende2 nih memang da lame pown dlm inbox aku
'psycho ko buat ape'
'ni aku la babi'
'geek tenga buat ape takkan berbual ngn rumate kowt'

hmm tu mcm biase la dpd waheeda.

n then

'sabrina ari ni aku nanges due kali satu ptg,satu mlm, sedey sebab ckp ngn lifi'
'sabrina bacteria ape yg ade kat kemaluan kite'
'nyah mulot ko mmg longkang kann, aku tengah bakar daging nih nak pegi berkelah'
'sabrina amir ade kat court ni, turonla'

musti la si diana

n then
'nyah kenape idop mu hepi, idop aku x'
'nyah nape takde org suke aku,pdahal aku cntek'
'nyah aku tenga mkn mi kari sekor2, xde org nk layan aku'

tini of kos..

ntah laa takyah bace recipient pon aku bley agak sape..

it just brings back memories..
wutever..wtf

i really need this

okeh skang serius shit aku mmg desperate tahap
ghaban nk BLOG!

i'm freaking out.

rite now.i'm freaking out..

aku freak out smpai aku ter blog kat search engine google tadi.

HAHAHAHHA.

okay aku terbace sebuah blog yg buat aku geli tertibe..
tak tau asal tapi sgt geli ya'll(gye nyah kat lorng aji taib)
ntah org kapel mmg cmtu kowt,
show devotion for love and crap.duhh..
okay aku takkan katekan dgn lebey lanjut becos aku rase
klw aku kapel pown mmg mcm tu kowt nnti..i dunno.

tpi kan nyah, knape nk picture diri jadi wife org kat blog,
dah laa boyfriend die tu mcm agak gile seks.okay post kali ni tercensored sket..

ntah aku pon tak bley nk imagine klaw diorng get together nnti macam mane(i mean get married okay)

aku ter freak out sebab bayangkan bende merepek kowt,
and then at the same time aku bukak cite korea die tenga adegan kissing
yg sgt lame and mcm taknak stop and then sgt rakus.

hmm malunye talking about this..

hisy!!
tak tau ke cerite cm tuh musti la org tengok!!
blog musti laa org bace!!
especially ko ckp cmtuh!!

malu la!!

alah aku tau takde sape paham tapi aku rase malu..

dengan my sis yg masok bilek ten minutes ago nk kutip utang..
hmm biase la tuh..
aku ingatkan kaye sgt.

pnjam 5 ringgit je bukan 500.
pastuh ngn adik aku yg berak sepah2 satu umah bau taik..

pastuh mak aku yg membebel sebab adek aku cebok tak bersih,

and then isit ter come across adek aku punye that thing je
sebab die bru sunat and tak pakai suar all the tyme cos saket!!

pastuh tetibe my father trying to be friendly,talking about the how my teaching goes!!

aku freak out seh!

kekadang aku rase evryone handled it so well cume aku je
yg stuck up sket when it comes to being nice and showing emotion.

ntah ar this whole thing is freaking me out.