ok so i just settle down a little..
so this morning i went to pudu, pekeliling to get tickets
for this weekend..
i'm going home..

i don't know wut happen..
seriously..
i was a bit lost of direction..
i went all alone sebab malas nk ajak azrin, or erni and even
manisah..nnti lmbat plak..bek aku g sekor2 lgi ringkas..
it feels good.. going all that long way alone..
more like you're travelling..
after some interchange and 10 station in lrt,
i arrived(sabrina akhirnye ko berjaye, you're so fabulous)
anyway.
aku g bli tiket sume da abes..
n conductor ticket to was not very warm like the ad
they used to lie to you about..like betape bgosnye perkhidmatan bas diorang,
n then itu laa ini laa.wtf
anyway aku berator for the last counter, n then line tu tak panjang sgt
malahan sgt pendek, cume conductor bus tue yg lambat,
then
aku punye turn pon da smpai,
n i went like "bus balek pahang ade lagi tak"
n he went very coldly(serious sgt stern and annoying)
"hari ape, siang ke malam"
me: ari jumaat ni, urmm, klaw last siang kol bape? and klaw malam kol bpe?
him: malam takde, siang je..
me:ok kol 6 ade
him: xde da abes
me: da tue bus pkol brape yg ade?
him:jumaat, sabtu,ahad sume da habes

n then, i dunno wut went wrong,
aku cm bengang gle!
with the whole thing
the tone,
the coldness
him with that suit!
aku cm breakdown gile..
i go all the way up there just to get some bad treatment of
some guy yg don't even know wut day the ticket is available..

aku cam mengamok

me: len kali klaw takde ckp je laa takde dpd tdi..da laa bnyak soal!!
last2 takde ticket jugak, n jgn nak talk to me with that kind of coldness..
ingt aku mati ke x naik plusliner! weh ko ngn syarikat ko boleh bungkos laa!
aku bknnye mentak naik bus free. aku bayo tau!! hah menyusahkan aku je!

okeh that was embarassing...
i just don't know wut got into me..
nape ntah aku emo..nk ckp sbb sesat mcm laa aku tak penah sesat
nk ckp sebab penat, alah normal laa puase pnat..
i seriously don't know why and how i reacted that way..
serious shit sume mkcik2 kat situ mmg tenga stare kat aku..
n all the people around..

along the way dlm lrt tue aku cm pikir n pikir..
trying to find a reason wut hav gotten into me..
tpi rase lege dpt jerit kat muke org..
cmtuh kot yg kalaivani nadarajah slalu rase..

i'm tired..tgk grey's anatomy laa jap..

tini called..
she's crying..i knoe i'm not supposed to tell this to people or something but it's not like this is a secret..
i'm not sure wuts going on over there. i mean the only thing that i can here with that voice is she saying that everything is such a messed and everybody bailed and left her out..
she said that she have no one and feel so alone..

i guess the same thing goes around here..
she just can't stop crying.. like it hurt her so much..
she keeps on crying and crying..
and i keep asking wut happen and she still cries..
i guess she's still that little tini i know from last time..
maybe this is difficult for her more than anyone else because she just
that little tini..
i hope things will turn alrite..
she said she's having buke puase all alone..
n she did ask me with whom i will be berbuke puase with..
and i said "dak sebla bilek aku ngn budak gemok seblah katil aku yg bru balek tue"..
n then she started to chuckle and laugh and then went back crying..

you just take time to swallow all this.
it's tough.
but this is the real world..
people just come and go..
it's crazy seeing all this but that's just some fact that we people
have to take..
people like me, like her,like everyone..
it's nasty in the beginning i guess but you just have to have something to hold onto..
just find something that makes you're stronger.
like i hold onto god i guess..
i belive that god'll help me somehow
that's the only real one around here..
that makes me stronger..
and it did..

so for everyone whose reading this out there,
this is not somekind of tazkirah pendek or something this is just something i wanna say..when you like totally lost and was left in the dark and no one is there, just remeber that god is around..
the only thing you can do is pray and believe that god will help you..
just believe in it..
we only have our prayer to hold onto..
just pray..

i can do this

ok i'm at the libry now..
ngantok gle dpd tdi tgk tulisan bnyak2 about bacteria..
it can be boring sometimes..
online jap..
anyway it's been a while since i wrote somting in here..
fine i did write in here yesterday..
ye ar tpi cm da lme tak ngumpat..
aku ade lgi lime bab on microbe..
kind of freak me out..
tetibe je rase nk dengo big bang..
aku pon tak perasan yg pc kat meje ni takde headphone...
di sebabkan sgt memerlukan big bang aku play je laa..
daa kene sound dgn mak arab kat depan nih..
siap bgi aku headphone lgi.
alah dengo je laa lagu diorng bkn tak sedap pon..
isit kene sound je!!
any way arap2 jdi laa stay sni smpai tonite.
aku bkn ape, iman aku ni tak kuat sgt, kang klaw ngantok
tetibe je rase nk balek kat katil..
takpe..untok a few days je..

KUATKAN SEMANGAT SABRINA!!
tringat plak lagu yg diana bodo slalu nyanyi tu:

jika ko pikirkan ko boleh

hah tak sanggop aku nk ingat lagu tuh..
bodo sgt..
wtever gottago n sambong study..

ready, get set

ok i've been very busy lately.. i got two reports in my hand that need to be done and passed up.and then minngu depan monday, mid exam microbe, and i have to passed that kemahiran membuat kputusan assignment which i learn nothing in that class (beside the fact that i skip that class and i spend my time reading something else not paying attention on how they really make a decision, huh wtever).

huh so i guess that's all it, that need to be done this week..microbe nye exam sgt mengerikan because we learn like a new topic every week so u can just imagine how many topics we learned so far, i mean beside the fact yg kalaivani warn us i mean seriously bnyak nk kene cover ar.. takot tak sempat je.i wanna score microbe!
anyway rase cm matrik plak every week new topic..jdual plak packed, arap2 year two will be much better..

talking bout that kmahiran membuat kputusan assignment, we actually have to write 10 pages of our own pengalaman peribadi..i mean yg involve people to make a decision..seriously! and sometimes in life u just regret the people u hang out with in the first place..ntah.a lot of thngs happen..malas nk talk about it..wutever..
bnyak gle nk kepoh..

anyway bebudak ktsn come and visit ari tuh, so of course la diana ngn dental troupe die pon ade ari tuh..senior dental sgt hooot!!
i'm impressed actually..they really know wut they doing so far yg i can see..a lot of them are chinese and i did my dental check up with them..
like every single question yg i asked diorng bley jwb..that chinese guy i mean..
ok wutever, gottago..kepoh more later..

ok as usual..
tuesday is the day of hecticness..
pnat giler..
xde gap langsung except mase zohor..
anyway aku bru lepas culture 20 freaking bacteria..
klaw xjdi bacteria tue mmg salah aku laa.

pnat gile dow..
puase lak tue..
rase cm nk gigit je agar kat ptri dish tuh..
pastuh cm ade laa insiden yg menunjokkan aku sdikit bodo,
n then bdk laki grup depan aku cm stare kebodohan diri ini.
pastuh aku toleh balek die masih stare..
ape msalah ko?!
isit stare je!
buat2 tak nmpak da ar..
naseb bek tutor ngn kalai di batalkan..

klaw tak, mmg smpai mlm laa jwbnye..
ow my god.
sgt penat.

dat day went out jap ngn nadia g tgk movie kat mid..
kwn aku yg nmpak kitorng tenga queue bli tiket tue pon
ckp ktorang loud giler..

daa
wut do you expect tue kann nadia si bangang
and mmg memekak la klaw jmpe aku..
funny she keeps telling me yg die
x cm tuh pon kat um..

pastuh there's this wedding exhibition yg kitorng pegi,
ow my god..
could you believe it..
wedding exhibition!
kitorng masok pon sebab saje2 nk explore..
n after da kutok lebey kurang sume wedding dress kat situ
kitorng pon beredar..

as always she have to make a scene everywhere..
pastu tnye aku wut ukm hav done to me..
i guess nothing..
just the fact that they did nothing to me..

wutever still exhausted..
gottago!

any clue?

aku tenga ade trouble privatekann blog aku tpi at the same time nk bg all my followers je bce..
god..
nape laa bende ni tak simple cm tekan calculator je..
anyone have any idea..
sebab dpd tdi aku cme tekan invite je and tak tau wuts going to happen next..

hate machines..

suspect

suspect.
meaning to have an idea or probability something is true or likely to happen without having real proof or definite proof..
it's still a probability..

ok so here's what happens..
i fall ill for the last two days and my temperature is 40 degrees clcius..
it happens to be a fver..and i was quarantine because i was suspected
with the influenza h1n1..it was a 3 days quarantine and if the fever still high i will be sent to hospital kajang..this is day two..

n then..
i told my roomate about it.she totally freak out n nk pindah bilek. i thought it was okay kowt sebab die ade hak nk selamatkan die punye ass..walawpon i'm so afraid tido malam2 sorng2..da la painful gile...ni pon bru lepas telan painkiller..
then,
i thought die just tido bilek kwn die n the end of story

but

it turns out that things didin't end there.
die pegi betau warden n i don't know who exaggerate or why she exaggerate
the warden pon freak out..
pdahal doctor mmg suroh aku stay dlm bilek..i mean asal sume org nk freak out..

i'm just doing what the doctor says..pastue warden call me in the middle of the night freaking out!
die even ckap yg die nk dtg tgk aku pon takowt..wtf. wutever.
and aku cm rilek je ar..malas nk bsing2.
pastu die bg aku option samada aku nk balek rumah or die hanto aku g taman tnage kuarantin kat situ..sume org nk get rid of aku!!

aku cm explain yg i still have another two days n i will only stay at my room pastu die ckp 'da tue takkn awak tak pegi toilet?' die still nk send aku away..
n siap nk call my parents lgi..i told her that i already told them what happen, masalahnye my house ngn ukm jauh so why not just tunggu another two days and we'll see the outcome..n i agreed to go to taman tenage..pastue i thought it end there.

but

die call jugak parents aku n buat kecoh..die ckp bebudak blok ni sume da freak out, my romate takde tmpat nk stay (pdahal obviously die tido bilek kwn die n die yg betau aku die tido blek kwn die)..takde tmpat nk stay amende!!
aku cm totally da start nk piss off mase die call my parents..
memule aku bley rilek lgi pastue aku rase evryone mcm too much..
die sebole2 nk suroh my mom amek aku balek..pdahal i da agree nk pegi tmn tenage semalam..this morning my mom cerite the whole thing to me..

just wut is wrong with all these people..my temperature pon da going down..
tau nk freak out je!! sume org nk save their ass..
have it ever occur to them yg I'M SICK. i'm sick and all yg diorang bley buat is freak out and getting rid of me..
bknnye nk complain ke ape tpi i really feel like people are trampling me around..
bru jdi suspek da rase like rbbish..watever.

nk g bli memane pon x bley..nnti die freak out lgi..skang ni kat bilek..damn bored..
harap2 my roomate yg mmg 'sehat' tue stay healthy laa..fucking hell

humiliation again..

hah geramnye!!

shit. fucking hell..

that's like an embarassment..

okeh aku tepon canselori punye ofis to check
cek mara da sampai ke blom n then:

guy: assalamualakum, bahagian kewangan pelajar boleh saya bantu?

me: okeh..aaa.aa.saye nk check cek mara da smpai ke blom.

guy: name n no matrik

me: sabrina-

guy:owh tak sampai lagi..

me: tak nak cek no matrik ke..sabrina len tue..

guy:awak ni ke yg tepon pagi tadi?

me:ha'ah

guy: pastue awak tepon jumaat lepas

me: ha'ah

guy: pastue awak tepon khamis lepas jgak kann..

me: hmmm..a'ah kowt..

guy: cm ni la..saye tak leh nk bantu awak klw cek mara tak sampai lgi.
knape awak tak mintak masokkan dlm bank je klaw nk duet cpat.

me: tpi tue kan cek first mesti la die anto kat ofis dlu..

guy: klw cmtu next time soh mara masokkan dlm bank. lgi cepat. tak yah tepon bnyak kali

me: (embarras gle babi punye fuck) hah! tau la!! *hang up

ow my god..
as if things are getting better..
siap ar ko!
aku bako canselori.

i hope he doesn't read this though..malunye