i was sitting there spitting out every single thing i felt all along..

looking at the lights i tried to make her understand what i feel..

but it turns out wrong..

evrything is wrong.

and then here we are two people being in the same room and she could not even look at me like before..

i thought being honest was the way..it just turn out so wrong..

what am i supposed to do when the safest place become the place i want to run away from..

the subtleties just kills me so much..why can't people just be honest..

stop playing this mind game or silent treatment..

i deserve to know what i shud knoe..

i feel like i keep on falling in the same hole again and again..

it's the same situation again and again..

i went in the shop, and make my way through..passing by some shelve i grab a can of latte..

what a day..

flipping out two one ringgit note, i put it on the counter and went back to my car.


i took 1 sip of the drink and take a short breath..how complicated things are lately.. and if it were someone else's life it won't be as complicated as this..

sometimes i wish i could just fixed everything..i wish it could be simple just like shooting a bird with a gun..

but it's not just any bird..it's an eagle, and some sparrow too..

and in my hand there's no gun.



i wish my words could reach people..could actually make them stop..

but it didin't..i scare people away..i'm just like a scarecrow in a pigeons farm.

i can't fix anything..it's like standing in a crowd and not moving at all..ape yg aku nak grab eventually slip away one by one..

sometimes things i never expect happen..one day u though the sky is blue the next day it'll never be the color it should be..

almost choke on my latte i put it away for awhile..figuring out how to deal with a man that don't seem to see the point in anything..


i drive and went into a printing shop,mase nak bayar denga lagu KRU yang :

'wo ai ni. i love u aku ccececinta padamu'

mase nak bayar tuh aku tergelak denga die nyanyi cmtuh, org kat kaunter tuh pon senyum..


some people can just write a song without knowing what it means..

just like when people do things that they don't really mean or know..

i don't want to be that person..the person that don't know what i'm doing..

that's a terrible thing that could happen..doing something that they don't know

so i'll try survive this thing because i think i know what i'm doing..

this is just so difficult sometimes tapi Allah takkan berikan sesuatu yang Dia tahu hambe die can not carry it off..

so off i go..i should go and change the world.

i look at the rain outside and my heart felt like it's going to rain to..

that feeling ..the kind of feeling you feel when it's sunday and ur parents are sending u back to ur boarding school..

and u feel so alone and that it kills u so much to walk..the heavy feeling again..

i shud survive..and pray hard..

this is so twisted..i am twisted.

me against the world 1#

assalamualaikum..

how's everything going?

i just got home for my hari raye haji holiday..ok let's start viewing the world in my perception and findings.this one is rather serious.

so lewat kebelakangan kite diperlihatkan dengan things like indie band, vlogger, youtuber(is that a correct term), yang gain fame through the video they make..

i know what that's called..

let me just rephrase that..

they called it

expressing urself, exploring your talent, pursuing ur dreams and doing the things that u love..

there's no crime with that..really..

tak salah buat sesuatu yg ko nak buat as long as ianya tak melanggar syariat..

ok let's do this slowly.

the thing about fenomena ni adalah majortinya are young girls and sometimes even school girls..

young people, remaja belia, yang ekspres diri mereka melalui muzik dan anything that they called art..

aku tau, aku faham, i am not an art person, i don't understand how meaningful this is, how important this is to people like them..

but bile kite get back or look back just turn around for a moment,

itu ke yang kite nak sebenarnya??

buat lagu, lirik yang tak memberi ape2 signifikan atau hasil secare substantialnye dan let org2 yang bukan muhrim dengarkan suare kite..

dan lebih menyedihkan bile penyanyi underground perempuan ni adalah mereka yang bertudung..

kenape kite bertudung, untuk menutup aurat daripada pandangan yang bukan muhrim..

tapi bukan ke Allah da gariskan sendiri bahawa suara tu adalah aurat(unless in certain case like teaching atau disscusing)..

just take one look kite see how contradicting this is.

melihat seseorng yang seolah2 memahami ape yang die perlu lakukan untuk be a muslim and then tibe2 she start doing these things yg tak sepatotnye dilakukan kalaw die faham.

aku tak salahkan this matter pade the people sendiri, like i said, they are young people yang need guidance help and even support untuk find a piece of them..

ape yang aku bole cakap kat sini is, perkare mcm ni tak sewajarnye kite support..

aku rase one of the reason bende ni happen is sebab diorng ade fans, ade org yg dengarkan lagu2 diorng, and the most important thing is diorng get inspired dgn penyanyi2 disekeliling mereka yg mereka nmpak..

kite start dengan yuna about some years back, and then we have ana rafalli and now kite ade najwa latif..

diorng semue young especially najwa latif..

mungkin mereka tak merasakan yang perkara ni adalah against Islam itu sendiri kerana sokongan yang mereka dapat..

aku tak agree. and aku rase we have to know that this is wrong.

kite taknak ade things like this happening again in the future..mcm seolah2 a job as a penyanyi itu menjadi something yg okay atas alasan yang kamu have passion and talent in music ..

masih ade bnyak care lagi yang kite boleh buat kalaw kite minat sesuatu.

dan menjadi seorng penyanyi when u're a muslim, a girl, and young is not quiet the idea dan of course melanggar syariat..

bukan ke tugs kite dan tanggungjawab kite lebih besar dpd tuh...bnyak bende yg lebih penting yang seharusnya disibukkan daripada menyanyi..

malaysia memerlukan belia2 yang berpelajaran yang have the courage to fight for what they believe in.

Islam memerlukan umat2 yang sanggup berkorban.this goes to me to..so the road is there..

kite just have to make a choice and start doing the things yg lebih penting dan mendtgkan kebaikan..

believe me, ilmu ALlah tu adalah beautiful when u start to see them, dan hukum Allah tu semuanye mempunyai hikmah.

Allah takkan melarang sesuatu tanpa sebab, dan Allah takkan perintahkan sesuatu yang sia2..

i guess that's it.

so with this all apologize to the things yg i said yg menyentuh sensitivity siape2..

aku rase, i just have to actually write this down..

i hope we can actually think about this..

thanx for reading.