ukm here i come!

okay..
so it was microbiology..in ukm..i'm happy..
that's like wut i have always wanted..studying about cells,virus,micro organism..
i'm gonna clone all the endon in the world to be my maid..yeahh..
i mean who am i kidding..atleast there's this moment that things actually go
my way..i'm gonna treasure this moment..and everybody got wut
they always wanted..

and nadia dpt genetic kt um, waheeda tessel, diana dentist, syikin i'm not sure n then farah sains ksihatan n persekitaran, tini kejuruteraan elektronik..
isn't that awesome..
skang ni kite sume will lead our own life kat universiti..

ow my god! i mean this is it..it's degree..somehow i feel kind of scared, so small..i mean we're gonna be scientist and rock the world!!
to every teacher yg pena spend time teaching us, thanks alot..
i just have this good feeling all weekend..like i got the course i wanted and
i'm going to continue study anytime soon..
i'm so glad that i choose the right path..i'm so glad that i chose
matrik..

i wasn't sure back then, wut it's going to be for me in the future cos i
haven't decide yet..i spend a lot of time thinking wut i'm gonna be..
bknnye cm org lain yg btol2 da made up their mind..cm diana atleast die
realise yg die nk amek dentist kt matrik..n ana mmg da determine nk amek
fisio dpd mule..she have this article about fisio n stuff..tpi aku smpai
kuar matrik pon tak sure ape aku nak..

n then i realise that my area of interest is in cells and sitting at lab,
so it occured to me that microbiolgy is the course..
so here it is..
a new life..

thank you god!!

once upon a time in lala land..

once upon a time, there was me and my childhood friend
playing in the back of the school near the volleyball court
waiting to be fetch by our parents..well not me, i walk back home
she have to be fetch..get the idea?

it was 6.30 in the evening, so we biha and i play near a gigantic
tree is situated by the mushrooms..
i pick up some bijik sage and show her how to cook
in our make-believe-kitchen-stove that we have in our make-believe-home
it was large with big stones so you can lit up the fire to cook..

biha:(incredibly excited) eeihh! ape ni awak

sab: bijik sage laa

biha: besnye warne merah! bnyak plak tue..

sab: (annoyed) alah tak penah jumpe ke

biha: tak penah..(very eager)

sab: hah! kite tau, nah amek bnyak2 bwk balek umah..
nah isi isi dlm beg awak..cpat laa

biha: tak nak laa..nanti mak kite marah..

sab: pesal plak..(annoyed lgi) isi je laa..jgn betau mak awk.
pastue masak laa kat umah..

biha: xpe laa..hah tue mak kite da smpai..

the same thing goes everyday when we play behind the school..
i teach her stuff a lot of stuff..
n she will turn to me when something happens..

n then she move away n i was all alone..
with the gigantic tree, the bijik sage n
the make-believe-stove..

don't get the wrong idea..i don't grew to become a loner.
i'm a happy person..i'm not alone at all..
i just hibernate sometimes..
sleeping and taking time thinking..
some people just think that i dissapear..
but i'm here actually..

so mmg ar tak brape bes lepas tu tpi
life goes on..
cmne it have always been without biha..
kwn ngn bebudak yg isit tnye brape bnyk kete
ko ade..pastu if u have atleast five
then u're in..
i think that was when i started growing up
becoming a liar..
like all the time..

cm nadia ckp "it's becoming u're food, and i'm not proud of it"..
terngiang2 siot kat tinge aku..
i mean come on, bile ko stuck kat the rich girls school
and evryone seems the same..the only thing yg ko bley buat
is survive walawpon diorang tak fun..

n i make friends with these rich people..
n one time there's this girl that sits beside me..
another rich girl..she become my friend sort of close..
you know for a standard 3 student she does brings a
lot of money to school..

she only eat nasi during reccess and no such things
as cold noodles..nasi with lauk n they only serve that
to the teacher..she's very neat and she does all her
homework..she's a very nice friend though..
like one time the teacher was going to check our
homework and she knew that i never done it and she
kind of hurried and help me with the calculation..
she did the three pages from behind, and i did another
two starting from the very front..
n then voila, my homeworks done..she did it..
there are some nice rich people though..
although she did ask me how much car i have
in the beginning and i wonder how do i list five..

it's okay i guess at that time even when you feel
like you pretending the whole time..
but it was nice having her around..we would sit on the bench
after class and eat ice creams..she even bought one for
me because for someone who have a lot of money having
to buy ice-cream all the time for your friend is nothing..
i mean it's not like i let her pay all the time..
she just insist..

i do feel bad sometimes but it seems alrite for her..
and anyway that was once upon a time ago..

now it's here in doom land..

thanks for the memories

i was lying in my bed the other night, and i switch on my mp3 that
i haven't listen for a long time, and hell yeah, it bring back so
much memories listening to all the songs..

well, you can say evrything in this rectangular pink box
is evrything that i listen too.
so it means kalaw ade dlm tue mmg aku layan..
and at that time aku btol2 reminisc all those moments..

there's hands down by dashboard confessional..
aku betol2 tringat those time in matrik yg when something big is happening
or i'm in the middle of something huge..and u know i always put my
mp3 on probably most of the time back in college..and
this song slalu kuar..like when i'm late for classes and then there's the
time yg ade presentation in the morning so bile aku kind of get nervous
and at the same time besamangat this song always plays..
suddenly out of nowhere die musti appear, and it's become one of my
favorite for a very long time..

musti kuar:

breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed, u share with me,

this night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control,

and it go:
ur legs are smooth........

n then tetibe je there's blind by lifehouse..
so nice...
really make me remember those time mase ade
crisis kat matrik during exam week..
waheeda slalu nyanyi lagu ni coz aku pakse..
beside the fact yg suare die bile
nyanyi mmg sebijik cm jantan 5 eko neh..
mse memule dengo cm hilarious pon ade.
but u know at that time mmg btol2 tenga
down and ade papers lgi nk deal with..
cm x terator gak ar klaw nk pikir balek..
n then die nyanyi ngn muke hodoh+sengal die tuh..
tpi the songs kind of sad kowt..afterall i guess..

and then ade seven things by miley cyrus..
those time yg jerit2 kat bilek nadia singing this song out loud..
pastue lompat2 ngn farah n then there's waheeda yg cm nk join
tpi tak tau lirik..bodoh giler..
die cume lompat je..and mizah ckp suare kitorang kuat giler
smpai kat luo dengo..

n then there's tearing up my heart by n'sync
tini nye favorite..isit nyanyi je kat tinge aku.
da laa lyric slalu salah..bodoh..
this song remind me a lot about her..
pastue isit tnye aku je mksud nye coz
die rase lgu tue cm same ngn die..
She doesn't even knoe the MEANING of the song
pastue die bley ckp RASE cm same ngn die..
bodoh

n then there's sahabat sejati by sheila on 7..
masyuk syal! tringat geng lame kat bp..
owh my god..those times are precious..
read my lips PRECIOUS..
mase lari2 kene kejar ngn warden n then
sorok dlm locker coz ckgu fatma check bilik..
ckp bhase isyarat by using the wall cos nk tau ckgu lgi brape
metre away from you..
n then those late night gossip that u always have if u're
in boarding school...n much more yg i don't have to mention..

n then there's the places where u have come to fear the most..
by dashboard confessional..slalu sgt dengo lagu ni at nite seblom tido..
because most of the time when u have this bad day u just want to
lie down n relax..when the person around u perform better than you
n u always felt that u're not gud enuff..sometimes rase mcm diorng rub it
in your face without she knowing it..so when u fell like u're not
gud enuf for anything u just want to listen to this stuff..

mcm:
buried deep as you can dig inside urself,
covered in a perfect shell
such a charming beautiful exterior
lace with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
perfect make up but you're barely scrapping by
you're barely scrapping..

that you can't fake it hard enough
to please,
everyone or anyone at all..

and then there's hapus aku by nidji..
mase tuh form 5 n balek dpd class admaths..
isit kuar lagu tuh je bile balek class
during the night in mom's car..
rase cm sad all the time coz life in high
school really sucks and i'm always preoccupied with
stuff untok catch up..
and then isit kene marah je all the time coz result
monthly test slalu terok espescially addmaths.
evrytime balek class musti rase cm nk jerit..

n everytime kuar lagu tue tringat balek those moment
back then..

those times you can only feel like no one understand u better then
your pink box..

yeah those times..
thanx mann..

crap

ow my god..
things hav been really damn hectic lately n
i know i whine alot but this time i think it's okay
to whine some more, because i'm like so
scrute, like big time!

okay so it's embarassing to even write this out
so i'm just gonna say this hypothetically..

i dunno wut happen , but i was busy thinking wut am i
going to do with my boring and pathetic life
when suddenly there's like a light shone to me giving
me this gift..
and it was a gud one..
then suddenly it was gone..
yeah in no time..
i haven't even open it yet, the gift
and it's gone..

then all i get in the end was hope because
the gift that was brought to me was taken away
by something in no reason..

i'm beginning to feel like my life is some sort
of joke..
i felt so ridiculous..
and alone..

u know wut else..
then, the person around you get wut u
want most in ur life..
die didin't even bother to knoe wut it
felt like to be you..

x sangke in the next 24 hours after feeling so happy,
i realise my life is doom..
it's just not fair..
okay, mmg la sometimes things go wrong
and it's normal tpi this time, bende tue cm happen
all at once..

i guess some people just get all the luck..
suddenly rase cm loser plak..

damn it

why does things always go well with someone yg camtue..
xtau ar tpi kekadang rase cm die trying to
rub it in people's face with wut die ade..
and of course by the end of the day aku musti realise die don't mean
it that way, die just not matured enuff or x pikir ape yg org len pikir..

masalahnye dgn org cmni is that we just have to swallow wutever
yg die buat coz die mmg slalu x pikir n x mean it..
isit nk kne excuse die je..
mcm bile ko babysitting this child, n ko xbley nk marah2 diorang cm
org tue coz bdk2 xpaham n xtau ape yg die buat tu
salah ke betol..
itulah diri die..
xbleh nk ckp n buat die see like wut u see..
because i tried bnyak kali n mmg die xpaham,
makin salah faham lgi ade..

sometimes aku agree gak bile ade org cm rase die desserve a snap or
something..it's just not fair bile ko feel tired ngn die
at the same time ko kne babysit die punye feelings..

ow my god..
for one second dude
tolong laa sedar yg u make me tired
n stop taking things cm bende tue sume senang,
grow up,
it's not a request it's an order!
please..
maybe many people tak tau
ur true colours tpi u're just wut i see in my eyes
which is pain in the ass..
it'll be easy to hate you man..